People People People

"In each of us there is a little of all of us." - Georg C. Litchenberg


I am not a people person. If your fimiliar with me you know this. Unlike most people who go out of there way to meet people, i go out of my way to not meet people. I have often thought long and hard about why. Why am i not a people person? why does the thought of actually putting myself out there enough to form an actual relationship freak me out so much? and i have come to to realize that the answere is life, life is the reason. I have been through things in my life that have caused me to lose faith in people. Things that have caused me to doubt whether or not people are genuin, whether or not people actually have the ability to honesly and genuinley care and love you. Whenever i meet someone new who actually seems to like me i go through a survey of questions in my head. Why does this person like me? Why do they want to hang out with me? Is it out of pitty or do they actually like me? As im sure you would agree this isn't the healthiest of way's to be, but for the life of me i cant seem to stop doing it. I have also come to realize that i am one of those "all or nothing" type of people. I am the kind of girl who believes that you have to have everything in commen in order to have a realationship, you have to agree with everything about an organization in order to be a part of it, that's just the way i am. But if there is one thing i have learned this year it's that people are not as bad as life makes them out to be, and that finding one thing in commen is enough to build one of the strongest relationships if you are willing to give it a go. I have had the amazing oppurtunitie to become friends with some of the most incredible and loving people this year. And it is all because of this one thing we have in commen, our love for a silly soap opera. A year ago i would never have believed that this one thing could be the gateway to some of the great friends of my life, or that i, Rachel Budge, could let so many people in without going over my mental survey or looking for ulterior motives. But i have, and i am so greatful for it! Although my heart is still not completly warmed up and i still have doubts when it comes to people, i think it is a step in the right direction. These people have managed to put back together some of the few pieces of my heart other people in my life broke. And i must tell you, it feels pretty dang good :)